haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize