I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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