Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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