We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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