don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
