I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
