i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
