in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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