Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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