why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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