Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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