You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Randomize
