haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
