she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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