3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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