I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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