Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
