One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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