My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
