You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
