He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
