I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Boobs are out for the taking
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
