I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
