So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
