so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
