I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize