dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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