Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
