You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
