I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
