For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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