I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
