Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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