Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
