yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
