ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
