I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
