Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
