left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
