Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
this just has baby written all over it
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
