I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
