the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
