if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
