Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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