She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
