Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Are my feet made of real feet?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
