were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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