everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Omg I joined a choir last night...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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