Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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