what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
