Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
