Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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