I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
