Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
