Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
