I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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