Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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