we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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