we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
