The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
