I want you more than these girls want KFC
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
