You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
