Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Randomize